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How to get emotionally close to my girlfriend

What is an emotional connection? If you listen, are there signs that tell you that you are bonding with someone? Why is finding that level of emotional security so difficult with the opposite sex? Learn the ins and outs of an emotional connection and why it is necessary to bond emotionally in order to build a relationship.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 7 Ways to Bring The Spark Back In A Relationship


Am I in a Healthy Relationship?

Having a romantic partner can be one of the happiest and most fulfilling things in your life. But sometimes, you may wish that you could be a little closer. Maybe one of you has a hard time opening up or you feel a distance growing between you.

If you feel yourself wanting to get closer to your romantic partner, openly communicate your desire. Show your affection in little ways every day, and make an effort to strengthen the bond between the two of you. Consider seeing a therapist if communication isn't your strong suit. Marriage and family therapist Allen Wagner says: "I see a lot of clients, especially men, who aren't socialized to be verbally expressive, so they don't know how to do that yet.

I help them figure out the steps they need to take to learn to express themselves, and when they do, they feel better about their life, and they feel more connected. Tip: Body language is also an important form of communication. If you're looking off into the distance, constantly checking your watch or your phone, or fidgeting, that can communicate to your partner that you are bored or uninterested in what they have to say.

Tip: Before you criticize, find out why your partner is behaving that way. There may be a very good reason that you never would have thought of otherwise. Tip: Body language lets your partner know that you're paying attention to them and not others.

Turn towards them when you're speaking, or lean towards them and place your hand lightly on their arm or leg. Tip: Different people value different things.

Something that you see as irrelevant or petty may be extremely important to your significant other. If it's important to them but doesn't matter to you, go ahead and do it their way. Whether a distance is growing between you and your partner or if you'd just like to get closer to them, good communication and listening are key.

The best way to get closer to your partner is to try and communicate with them as clearly as possible. Express your feelings openly and honestly, being direct with your words to avoid any misunderstandings.

Checking in regularly with your partner about their life is another good way to get closer. Ask your partner specific questions about their day to show that you care. For more ideas on how to get closer to your boyfriend or girlfriend from our Marriage and Family Therapist co-author, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No. Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great.

By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Article Edit. Learn why people trust wikiHow. Allen Wagner is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles, California. He received his Master's in Psychology from Pepperdine University in He specializes in working with individuals and couples on ways they can improve their relationships.

Along with his wife, Talia Wagner, he's the author of Married Roommates. There are 19 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Explore this Article Improving Your Communication. Showing Your Affection. Strengthening Your Bond. Related Articles.

Article Summary. Method 1 of All rights reserved. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc. Express your feelings directly and openly. Being close to someone requires telling them exactly what you want. Even if you think you're being obvious, many people have a hard time picking up on hints and indirect communication.

You have to be willing to say what's on your mind, even if it's something that you're afraid your partner won't like. Would you like to talk about it? If your partner picks up on your hint and doesn't like it, you can claim you didn't mean that at all.

But even if you avoided a potential conflict, there will still be distance between you. Maintain honesty and openness in your relationship. Lies and deceit are always a barrier to closeness. However, refusing to share pieces of your life with your partner or keeping secrets from them can be just as damaging.

When they find out about something you've been keeping from them, they may wonder what else you've been hiding. Maybe you think they will ridicule you. So you keep it a secret. However, by doing that you are building a wall between the two of you.

This doesn't mean that you can't keep a birthday present or surprise party a secret. However, in that situation, you should also be aware that your partner will likely sense that you're keeping something from them, and might start to get suspicious.

Listen actively to your partner and repeat back your understanding. When your partner is talking to you, stop doing other things and pay attention to them.

Use statements such as "I hear you saying that If your understanding or perception isn't accurate, they can correct it. Then the two of you are both on the same page. For example, they may want to chat while you're doing the dishes or making the bed.

But if they want to talk about something relatively serious, stop what you're doing and listen. Nod and look them in the eye if this is culturally appropriate to communicate that you are paying attention to them. Engage in self-disclosure to share yourself with your partner. Sharing your own inner thoughts and feelings may make you feel more vulnerable, but your partner will appreciate that you trusted them enough to share something so private and personal.

Opening up in this way is a good way to get closer to your partner, as well as learning about each other. That's one of the most emotional scenes ever, and yet it's a cartoon without dialogue," then you've found a deeper emotional connection. You might also tell your partner about past experiences that helped shape who you are or what you believe.

Be careful revealing too much about yourself if your partner is not reciprocating with equally intimate information about themselves. If you revealed you cry at a certain movie, for example, they might confess a movie that always makes them cry or admit that they've never cried at a movie.

Turn criticisms into positive statements. When you criticize your partner, you may give them the impression that you think they're not good enough for you. They may put up defensive barriers, impeding your efforts to get closer to them. Try to flip criticisms around so that you focus on what you're missing rather than what your partner is or isn't doing. Singular pronouns, such as "I" and "you," verbally pit the two of you against each other.

Plural pronouns emphasize that you're a team and you're in it together. Make arguments constructive rather than destructive. When the two of you disagree about something, try to find a way to resolve the problem rather than tearing your partner down. Your goal should not be to win the argument but to move your relationship to a better place.

Seek your partner's side of the story and empathize with them. You could also deeply hurt them. Flying off the handle like this can also cross the line into verbal, psychological, or even physical abuse.

If you're too upset to talk constructively, tell your partner that you need a few minutes of quiet time to calm down before you'll be able to talk about it. Then separate yourself from them for a few minutes. You could move to another room or go for a walk. Remain actively curious about your partner's thoughts and feelings. When you first met your significant other, you likely had a million questions for them and wanted to know everything about them. But once you've been together for a while, that curiosity can fade.

You may think you already know everything about them — but you don't. Ask them how they think and feel about things rather than assuming you know. For example, if the two of you are watching a TV show together, you might ask them which character is their favorite and why, or what the best part of the show is for them. Ask open-ended questions and give your partner the chance to surprise you. For example, a question such as "You like pizza, right?

13 Ways to Feel Immediately Closer to Your Partner

At the less serious end of the spectrum, it can be things like always being a bit late when you arrange to meet up or taking longer than you would like to reply to texts. More seriously, it can take the form of emotionally draining behaviours. An unreliable partner is unpredictable in the way they treat people: freezing their partner out and refusing to talk stonewalling or swinging between being kind and short-tempered.

After endless searching, you finally found someone worth holding onto. But through certain circumstances, you find yourself separated from the one you love by miles and miles of distance.

With few exceptions, human beings want to be emotionally and physically close to each other. Life seems better shared. And yet no area of human endeavor seems more fraught with challenges and difficulties than our relationships with others. Relationships, like most things in life worth having, require effort.

11 Hacks Scientifically Proven To Make You Feel Closer To Your Partner

We think that in order for us to be happy, the other person needs to be or do something different. While it may be true that sometimes there are some changes we need to make, oftentimes being happy and getting what we desire has more to do with our own awareness. We think that we have to spend a lot more time together and have long deep conversations to bring out the level of intimacy we truly desire. In the beginning of my relationship I felt really close to my partner and we loved learning new things about each other. I felt a deep connection just by looking in his eyes and not saying anything. Everything felt good, easy. In the beginning of a relationship, we live more in the present moment. We appreciate our partners. However, when we get used to the other person, we start to live more in our heads.

How to Become Emotionally Closer With Your Girlfriend

It's totally normal to look at the world through rose-colored glasses in the early stages of a relationship. But for some people, those rose-colored glasses turn into blinders that keep them from seeing that a relationship isn't as healthy as it should be. Hopefully, you and your significant other are treating each other well. Not sure if that's the case? Take a step back from the dizzying sensation of being swept off your feet and think about whether your relationship has these qualities:.

Having a romantic partner can be one of the happiest and most fulfilling things in your life.

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Dealing with an unreliable partner

Being emotionally close to your girlfriend benefits you personally as well as your relationship. Not only will you feel more fulfilled as a couple, you will build a loving foundation that is the basis for a healthy long-term relationship. However, building emotional closeness with your girlfriend happens in stages, rather than all at once. Although there is no substitute for time with regard to creating a close bond, you can focus on a few key elements to make the process speed along.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Telling My Girlfriend How I Really Feel...*EMOTIONAL*

Image by Brat Co. If we want more depth and intimacy and joy in our relationships, we're going to have to develop more emotional connection with our partners, our friends, our family, our co-workers. It's that simple and that challenging. Connecting only through our upbeat emotions is not enough—we also need to find, and keep finding, relationship-deepening connection through all our emotions. And there is no way we can do this if we are not significantly intimate with our emotions.

10 Signs Your Partner Is Emotionally Unavailable

Emotional intelligence EQ is the secret of lasting intimate relationships, largely because it makes us extremely aware of the changes—large and small—that are constantly occurring in ourselves and others. We have the potential to attain the kind of love we all dream of—deep intimacy, mutual kindness, real commitment, soulful caring—simply because of empathy, our innate ability to share emotional experience. We have the potential to attain the kind of love we all dream of —deep intimacy and mutual kindness, real committed, soulful caring—simply because of empathy and our innate ability to share emotional experience. But to achieve those relationship goals, we need all the skills of a high EQ:. In fact, for many people, falling in love serves as motivation for reeducating the heart. When you ride out your fear of change, you discover that different does not necessarily mean worse. Things often come out better than ever on the far side of change. Relationships are organisms themselves, and by nature must change.

Oct 19, - Prioritize your commitments and make time for your partner whenever you can. 2. Don't get paranoid. It is quite common for partners in a.

Unless you're still in the honeymoon phase, it's not always easy to feel strongly connected to your partner. Life gets in the way, work keeps you really busy, and before you know it, you haven't had a tender moment with them in a while. It happens to the best of us — yes, I'm sure that even Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have to contend with it. Luckily, psychiatrist Mark Goulston conducted studies several years ago to see what kinds of habits are commonly seen in happy couples. It's different for everyone, but there are definitely some little things you can do more on a daily basis proven to help keep yourself and your SO madly in love.

Ask each other personal questions. Some, like Dr. You can take this quiz and learn yours. Show interest in the things they like.






Comments: 1
  1. Fejora

    I am very grateful to you for the information.

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